Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Excerpt: 'Strongly Felt'

In this exclusive excerpt from the Feltie World newsletter, a young Nigel Wappet (moi) takes on a Feltie University guest lecturer, the slow speaking (and everything) Ms. Amanda Tuckback Sloth. The argument stemmed from my qualms with her interpretation of Feltie history, and her insistance that Felties had no business to expect positive and safe interactions with humans.

“Because,” old Ms. Tuckback said, “there are no laws protecting Felties in the human world, whereas in the Feltie world we have plenty of laws protecting humans.”

“And that seems fair to you?” I said, in disbelief. I had already made the mistake of failing to recognize that we were arguing two different things: Ms. Tuckback was debating information as it was and I was debating ideals, that is, the information as I thought it should be. Not recognizing the uselessness of this exercise, I railed on, beginning to slobber in my frenzy: “This, this I cannot abide! It all smacks of a sad disregard for yourself and others! Where is your pride, madam? Your sense of justice?”

“On the contrary,” said Ms. Tuckback. She surveyed me coolly, hanging upside down with infinite patience and tact -- qualities, it must be said, that I sorely lacked in this situation. “I have a ve-e-ery high regard for myself and Feltiekind.... Otherwise, I wouldn’t have bothered with ye-e-ears of painstaking research, you see? I wrote this boo-oo-ook for Feltiekind --"

“To tell them they are limited and weak!” I yelped. “To hedge in their prospects and condemn the notion of human-Feltie harmony!”

At this point many people were pointing and giggling at me, which was quite understandable, as I was causing quite a sudden and ridiculous scene. My only explanation for my outburst is that after many years I had finally tapped into a long-held feeling in my little felted heart, a feeling which I was only now able to lend expression to. It was as if doorways leading to prospects of principled love, justice, and responsibility were opening inside of me.... It is a great irony, of course, that in the process of realizing this I felt it necessary to start barking and growling at someone. So please, do try and remember, I was only a young school pup then....

To read the opening and concluding portions of my article, please read the March 15th edition of the Feltie World News.

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